When You ASSUME You Make an A…Well You Guys Get It
I hope you all are recovered from the homecoming excursions of last week and are focused on the Midterms to come.
In honor of Relationship Abuse Awareness month I wanted to talk about a link that caught my eye on the internet. Given that this month is all about bringing awareness to issues surrounding sexual assault and domestic violence the article Icky Frat Email From Georgia Tech Instructs How To Lure “Rape Bait” caught my attention on buzzfeed.
here is the link if you want to read and then follow along.
The Buzzfeed Summary is as follows:
The frat brothers at Phi Kappa Tau at Georgia Tech have found themselves in a bit of hot water after an email teaching them questionable tactics on how to get with girls has leaked.
Allegedly sent from the group’s social chair, Matthew Peterson, the letter says brothers will be ejected from parties if they’re not talking to women, instructs multiple times to make sure the opposite sex is pumped full of liquid courage, and includes commands like, “ALWAYS USE YOUR HANDS OR ARMS TO GUIDE THEIR DANCING in order to maximize your pleasure.”
Throughout the email this male student describes all the various ways his fraternity brothers can manipulate a woman to ultimately end up in their bed. I felt it was important to talk about these ideals because Peterson’s whole ideology is based on one very dangerous component. ASSUMPTION.
In his explanations of female interactions he states the following
If she starts putting her hair over her ear, THAT MEANS SHE WANTS A KISS. Therefore, try to give her a kiss on the cheek. They usually like that and nothing really should become of it. In the case, go for the neck kiss. If for some reason they aren’t down for a cheek kiss, just dance through it or say you are going to get another drink and see if they want one. And then repeat from the beginning.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I frequently touch my hair especially if I’m dancing because I have big hair and it gets hot on a dance floor…So I don’t know how this one individual has now branded pulling your hair over your ear as the ‘I WANT A KISS SIGN’
Making assumptions is one of the biggest mistakes you can do in your life. Whether you’re making an assumption on someone’s socioeconomic status, sexual preference or any other personal identifications or actions. However, when it comes to sexual encounters making an assumption can place any individual in an awkward and potentially life changing situation. Assuming someone’s sexual intent can lead to miscommunications and situations where other’s are violated in some cases. Assumptions are present in rape culture which this email is promoting. In the situations described this man is revealing a rape culture lens by claiming that a woman’s actions are characterized to mean certain sexually implicit actions.
Now I know some of you may read this article and point out that the author of the email did write “NO RAPING” within the email. However, the sentiment is lost as earlier in that same sentence he claims “ALWAYS START WITH THE MAKING OUT!!!!” as if you aren’t raping if you start off making out. The message this college student is promoting doesn’t solidify his warning and I don’t even think he was aware of it. In the whole of this email at no point does the writer say, ask the girl you’re dancing with what she would want other than another drink. Rather than do that and be clear about the intentions you have the writer state to simply ‘repeat from the beginning’ the steps he had given them. This attempt is merely to try and wear down women and get them drunker throughout the night so they are more susceptible to the motive of these men which is sex.
To end his email, the author left this sentiment.
A short guide consist of the 7 E’s of HOOKING UP! 1. Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls) 2. Engage (go up and talk to them) 3. Escalate (ask them to dance, or ask them to go up to your room or find a couch, depending on what kind of party) 4. Erection (GET HARD) 5. Excavate (should be self-explanatory) 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) 7. Expunge (send them out of your room and on their way out when you are finished. IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL. I want to see everyone succeed at the next couple parties. In luring rapebait
Again, the writer is viewing women as a conquests that can be manipulated then removed of . He states that if there is any faltering in his defined rules that the brother should go get more alcohol, making the female student more drunk. After reading this article I am unfortunately not shocked by the attitude and understanding of this college student as I know this is not the first person to view college women and sexual interactions with blatant assumptions. While I’m sure this Phi Kappa Tau brother thought he was giving confidence and helpful tips to give his other brothers and new members, his message was a very warped and dangerous way to approach interactions with women. So what I hope you all take from this article is the following:
A. Know that there are individuals who share this man’s mindset
B. Be careful of individuals who use alcohol as their main staple of interaction and
C. Remember that Assumptions are a dangerous thing, especially in sexual encounters.
You remember the age old saying when you ASSUME you make a “donkey” out of U and ME ;)
That’s all for this week kiddos
Have a good week Wildcats!